He really is you know when you think about it.

Anyway, this was inspired by the wonderful folks at Video Game Recaps. Particularly this passage -

"Bitch (Cloud) wants to know all about their mission. When Sephiroth tells him that this mission is different than the others, Bitch creams his shorts. The reason? 'I joined SOLDIER so I could be like you. But by the time I made First Class, the war was already over. My big hopes of becoming a hero like you ended with the war. That's why I always sign up whenever there's a big mission. Kind of a way to prove myself.' This monologue can be summed up in one sentence -- 'Bend me over that cardboard box over there and make me a man.' Christ, I'm not a Final Fantasy VII yaoi fan, but when Bitch all but has his tongue crammed down Sephiroth's throat, it's kind of hard to miss."

The first thing that came to mind was "Hey, that's when he thought he was Zack..... wow, Zack was a fanboy." But that was because I had just bid on Seph/Zack doujinshi. Later, I thought "You know, Cloud's just a big Mary Sue who wishes he had been Zack and does wank off over his idolized vision of Seph." And thus you have what we see above.

Now I know that there are other Mary Sue comics like this on DA - I just don't know where they are. If you do, could you please post the link? I want to give them credit as well for inspiring me.

Cloud (c) Squenix